By Whitneay T. Vanwells
Who Am I? What Am I?
The 12 Laws Of Identity
Law 1. You have a right to feel. It is OK to feel all of your feelings. It is OK to be angry with others who have harmed you. Anger is a safety device, and it also helps to separate you from wrong identity beliefs, and from those who programmed you. BE what you are in the moment. If you are angry, then be that. If you are sad, be that. If you are lost, be that. If you are ecstatically happy, be that. Don’t try to clean everything up. Feelings happen for reasons. Feelings come from real things and real experiences.
Law 2. You can’t save anyone, but maybe you can save yourself. You can’t save your parents, or brothers and sisters. You can only save yourself. You can set an example for how they can help themselves. But, that is all. You can’t prop them up, fix their feelings, or do brain surgery. Let each of them decide their own path. They most likely will not listen to you, any way.
Law 3. Martyrs finish last. Do not become a carbon copy of martyred parents. Learn about who you are, and find ways to create real happiness. And, very important. Write down what you think. This is critical. Create a self talk Journal of the things that you ‘think’ about you each day. 99% of what you write that is negative martyrdom, that comes from an outside source. Usually it is learned from those who raised you.
Law 4. No one is perfect. God is perfect, and we are not. No matter how hard you try to be perfect for your dad, your mother, or a step-parent; you will never be good enough. Be what you want, not what others want you to be.
Law 5. LIVE your dreams. Find out what you want in life, and FIGHT to create it. I say fight, because you will have to fight with your mind, and you may also have to fight with family members, or even your spouse. If you don’t know what your dreams are, maybe it is time to find out.
Law 6. Trust in the divine. Open the door on your spiritual life, and use it as a Guideline for your life. Know that you are loved unconditionally by your Guides, Masters, Angels, Spirit, & above all God. Once your realize this one special truth, you gain a toehold on self love. “If They love me unconditionally, maybe I am OK”.
Law 7. Do the best that you can. Do what you can each day, to the best of your ability, and then let it go. Do not hammer yourself with self criticisms, especially at night. Evening is for rest, not verbal self abuse.
Law 8. Travel in positive circles. If your friends drink and drive, don’t be with them, and in fact replace them. Find people of positive like mind to share your time with. Do not waste your time with those who would try to destroy your dreams, or those who’s energy is so low, that they would hold you back. This includes family members.
Law 9. When day is done. At the end of the day, give thanks for the opportunity to have had your experiences, and let the day go. There is no reason to sit and fret about what would have been better. Or how you could have improved on what you said or did.
Law 10. March to your own drummer. Do not be a copy of someone else, be an original of who you are. Each of us is unique. What is the point of acting like everyone else? It may seem to be safe, but it is not. Acting like someone else destroys your identity.
Law 11. Love someone who is functional, not dysfunctional. If you want a happy love relationship, then marry it. Don’t try to create it from someone who is not functional. If they don’t do their own identity work, there is nothing that you can do to ‘fix’ them. If you are trying to have a happy life, why would you marry someone who would mess that up? Do your best to find a partner who also seeks to have a happy life, and who is learning to love themselves.
Law 12. Pass it on. When love comes your way, in any form, be aware of the gift, and pass it on to others. You can touch hundreds by sharing love. By sharing the love that comes to you, you can help to create a network of love that can help many. Sharing the good that comes to you, is a natural human response. Listen to your desire to share, and go with it!
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