Learning to Be!
“I’m sorry.” It’s a simple phrase, yet it holds the potential to carry profound meaning for both the person offering and the person receiving it.
While it is also often thrown around quite casually and unnecessarily (especially in Canada), apologizing can be one of the most difficult situations to directly address. I recently took it upon myself to say sorry to the person in my life who I undoubtedly had the most difficult time saying it to.
Pain, disappointment, hurt, embarrassment, and shame are emotions that are associated with all relationships; whether they are romantic or non-romantic. The most important emotion is anger. Anger, however, is a secondary emotion. No one feels angry first. Anger is a reaction to an event. For example, if your boss calls you “inadequate” aloud during a staff meeting you might feel embarrassed. Then, after your colleagues react to the statement you become angry. What if I told you it was important to forgive your boss? I can hear the mumbles now.
By Baylor University
Forgiving ourselves for hurting another is easier if we first make amends—thus giving our inner selves a “moral OK,” according to Baylor University psychology researchers.
The research, published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, is significant because previous studies show that the inability to self-forgive can be a factor in depression, anxiety, and a weakened immune system, researchers said.
“One of the barriers people face in forgiving themselves appears to be that people feel morally obligated to hang on to those feelings. They feel they deserve to feel bad.
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened, and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then tell, a couple of trusted people about your experience.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else. No one else even has to know about your decision.
3. Understand your goal.