And by miss I mean being on the edge of the red circle not in the exact middle, hitting the black, missing the black but still hitting the paper. My “automatic adjustments” for wind and distance didn’t seem to work very well if at all. One night it was very windy and raining and I was missing the red dot, and I even missed the target all together a few times. This is with a pistol (I think it was or was very similar to a Beretta). They bring me back inside and give me an “ass-chewing” about my very poor performance.
They send me back to the lab where I do “simple things” for the rest of the evening. Like the squat rack, more brain puzzles, strength exercises, etc. The next night as I’m walking into the lab Adolph instructs me to follow and we proceed to a room that I had never been in before. It is like an empty classroom, there are green blackboards on the walls up at the front, one green blackboard which can flip around and is on wheels off to the right and one student desk in the middle of the room. That is all. They tell me to sit and I do. I become very nervous as I’m thinking they are going to test me or something and I haven’t studied.
A man in a baby blue lab coat walks to the front.
I do not recognize him. There is a nervous tone in his voice as he begins. I have no idea what is going to go on as this format is all new to me. He begins talking about angular trajectories, muzzle velocities, and how air densities are measured versus altitude at sea level and this then equates into a friction coefficient equations to measure the angular trajectory of a projectile! And he goes on and on. “HOLD IT” I speak out. “Can I have a pencil and some paper to make some notes?” I ask. For the next, while I’m frantically bent over the desk and trying to write down everything he is saying and copy the diagrams he is drawing on the board like I’m in class back in school.
After a while Adolph walks over to me and says “Rhino, do you need a break?” “YES I need a f*cking break” and I slam my pencil down and put my head between my hands. “Are you getting all of this?” he asks me. “NO” I answer, and I remember starting to cry “I’m trying, really I’m trying, but I DON’T HAVE A F*CKING CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!”.
We take a break. I’m very nervous about having to go back into the room. I had gotten a “D” in algebra in high school and they are talking about stuff I had never even heard of before, and they want me to understand this stuff, there is no f*cking way Iím thinking to myself. They call me back in and for the first time I felt sort of “scared“. Not over where I was, who I was with, what they did to me in the lab. I was scared about letting then down. I was scared because I had convinced myself that no matter what happened
I could not do this. I was never a good student in school and this stuff, forget it. There was just no way! As I sit back down I’m looking for the man in the blue lab coat and he is no longer there. It is only the man with the white hair. He says a few words and I become relaxed and I close my eyes.
I hear him. He tells me to “just relax” and “just sit back and absorb like a giant sponge, just absorb everything.” I hear the instructor begin speaking again and this goes on for a while. I hear Adolph ask me is any of this sinking in?” and I shake my head and answer “NO” and open my eyes. As I open my eyes I look to my right and see the man with the white hair and Mr. Green speaking to each other in a fairly loud tone. Not arguing but clearly annoyed.
I put my head in my hands again and then stand out of my chair and yell “HOLD IT, I have an idea!” I was so proud of my self. The man with the white hair comes over and asks “What’s your idea?” with this cautious look on his face (I remember his look of caution). “take me to my LEVEL, take me to my ROOM. I have an idea!” “What are you going to do?” he asks. “PLEASE, JUST TAKE ME TO MY ROOM,” I say. “Rhino,” he says “I have to know what you are going to do.” “I’ll explain everything in a minute! just please take me to my room, trust me, you’re gonna LOVE this!” I said.
When I opened my eyes I explained what I had done in my special room in my mind. What I had done was this. In the main room of my mind (the big blue room with the 20-foot ceilings) on the far wall was the circuit breaker for my nerve endings (like the fuse box in your house). This device allowed me to turn my nerves on and off at will mentally just by flipping the circuit when needed. Next to that was the adrenaline valve which allowed me to turn on and off my adrenaline flow to my body.
It was simply a thin copper pipe which came out of the wall, came down and went back into the wall again with a valve in the middle of it like the main water valve in the basement of your house which controls the water flow coming from the street into the house (the same thing only I was controlling the flow of adrenaline and not the flow of water and it was for control of my body not for control of the house). Allowing me to turn my adrenaline gland on and off at will.
Next to it was the fear switch. It was this big old fashioned circuit breaker type switch which was chained in the “off” position with a “DO NOT TOUCH” sign on it. They had ALREADY conditioned me to install these devices back in “room 101” and this is how I had configured them in my mind. What I did was next to the fear switch I created this big metal box.