As I’m sitting there I cannot move, but I can hear them laughing at me. He starts telling Mr. Green how he didn’t know what exact word they used but once you find it “that’s it” he is totally under your control. This is where things start getting a little crazy. What he did to me somehow, I remember, is he somehow locked me away in my own mind, creating multiple personalities over mine to make me forget everything. I remember fighting him for control in my mind. He told me that I will do whatever he tells me to do. He said the walls are closing in on you and you cannot fight it, in my mind I of course pictured the walls closing in.
On his instruction, the walls closed in until I was inside a “vacuum-sealed steel coffin“, which conformed to the shape of my body (like a vacuum-sealed produce package only it was my body sealed in a steel coffin with only my face showing). I could not fight it and I could not move. He then said you are being sent to a place in your mind where you will never be found, at this point I start screaming “no no no“. After he sent me to a place where “no one will ever find you“, he instructed that “a steel plate the size of ten football fields and 10 feet thick is crashing down upon you” and he said, “here it comes, and there is no escape“.
I remember screaming again as he says “boooom“. Here comes another one, “boooom“, and he proceeded to do this five or six more times. I am screaming during all of this. And I remember Mr. Green and the others laughing at me while Aaron was doing this. The thing is, the one thing I do remember about the hypnotherapist’s first visit is; I remember being back in my mind, “my safe place” and off in the corner with these “steel plates” or like a heavy iron with some weathering and rust around the edges. Dust was all over them and they were bolted to the wall on an angle. I remember hearing horrific cries coming from behind it, like some kind of creature or monster. To investigate I imagined that the steel plates were made of tin foil and instantly I had the strength to bend them back one by one.
I was scared. As I got to the lower layers I hear scratching, like a wild animal clawing at a door to get out. The last few layers were bubbled out like you can make dents in a sheet of tin foil with your finger (only much bigger). Down in the corner, there was a little piece that had been ripped aside, and you could see the blackness behind it. I get on my hands and knees to get a closer look, ALL OF A SUDDEN a hand of half-rotted bone and flesh suddenly reaches out and grabs my face. It would not let go. I FINALLY GET AWAY FROM IT, but now the creature is suddenly energized and begins to violently scratch and claw and with incredible force starts ripping at the last layers of the steel.
Finally, it made itself enough of a space to get out. From the blackness emerges a half-rotted corpse, on its arms, legs and left shoulder there was only bone, no flesh.
An image of a body that had been locked in a closet for years half-rotted and half already dead. On the verge of insanity from being trapped in a space so small you cannot move, yet you cannot die. I am now slowly backing away from it… It says “what are you afraid of?” it asks. “Who are you?” I ask it, IT ANSWERS “I AM YOU, DON’T YOU RECOGNIZE YOURSELF!” With a burst of speed, it leaps at me and grabs hold of me, like someone trying to embrace me. With it’s half-rotted arms around me I start screaming.
I believe that this is when I started flipping out in the doctor’s office. The hypnotherapist was then trying to “cover it back up” but the “self” that they had locked away was by no means going to go back into that tiny space quietly by any stretch of the imagination. That’s why he had so much trouble getting control of the situation again. The hypnotherapist finally pulls me out of it, and two days later the hypnotherapist has disappeared and Aaron had locked the “monster” (it is no monster, it is my true “self”) away again, with new doors and in a new place. The monster who claims to be the real me is even now locked away somewhere in my mind?
This concept is very scary and confusing but these are my memories.
August 1994 – June 1996 – After that, I didn’t remember any of those events or any other events for that matter until years later when a single event “punched” a hole in the “alternate reality“, the “alternate personality” if you will, and Aaron continued to be my “best friend” as he was my assigned “controller” or “handler“.
Over the next two years or so I would go over to Aaron’s apartment, hang out all the time, and we were buddies. The thing is, odd things would happen sometimes but I would just dismiss them Because I had no recollection of ANY of the past events. For example, sometimes Aaron would just get up and lock the door. Right in the middle of a movie or something. It’s only the two of us and I am about 6 foot tall and 230 pounds with bodybuilder physiques and Aaron is about 5′-10″ and about 210 pounds with a very muscular build, and he is living in a very quiet and secure apartment complex.
So I began to wonder about these events and I would ask him “why do you sometimes get up and lock the door” and he would never answer me, and I would never question it. I remember a lot of missing time at Aaron’s, watching a movie and all of a sudden I would be watching a different movie and it is 2:00 in the morning. All of a sudden I would realize what time it was and I would say “Where the f*ck did the time go” and I would just get up and leave. But thinking back I can vaguely remember all the programming sessions he would have. He would keep trying to totally destroy the “Monster” if you will, but he never could.
I can remember countless episodes of Mr. Green being there, as well as others, studying me, trying to figure me out. But at the time some things you really don’t think about until later. What was happening was they were watching all the time. I had no memories of anything up to that point. My apartment was wired for sound and video. Every moment of my life was being watched. One odd thing about my life is, ALL of my girlfriends, at least all the women I would consider calling my girlfriend, have said the same thing to me at one point in time or another.
They all told me that my apartment was almost like a “hotel” room. I guess that when women first start dating someone they like to get to know the person by looking at all their “stuff.” I had some of the nicest “stuff” money could buy in terms of furniture and electronics (a very nice furnished apartment). The thing is there is no “memorabilia” at all, and thinking about it, they are right! I have no photos at all! None of my parents, none of my family, none of ANY college friends, NOTHING! No scrapbooks, no photo albums, no souvenirs, no books at all, nothing personal of any kind. I have a fully furnished apartment which is nicely decorated, but there are no personal memorabilia of any kind.
No memories and no past. (leave it to the women to notice this) Another funny thing is, Aaron took a job as a student counselor at Life Chiropractic College in Atlanta. His favorite pastime was to steal all of the college’s videotapes which dealt with the human mind and relating subjects from the Life college library. He must have had 20 different “sets” of tapes. These ranged from documentaries to case studies of all the different mental diseases and theories of how the human mind functions and what exactly occurs in each of them. In fact, the more I think about it, ALL we used to do is sit around and discuss how the human mind functions.