Ted Rice
Sub Fugura 1
archived 10-07-99
Archive file# e100799e
donated by James Vandale
Subject: IUFO: ::: Reptoid Rape :::
Reptoid Rape: A Multi-Part Series
[from a hypnotic regression session on “alien abductee” Ted Rice]
Soon he began to get new images, also from his childhood but this time involving his other grandmother, and himself at a slightly older age. Ted struggled to regain a clear sense of vision, but something — an induced block, perhaps, or his own reluctance — held him back. And then, as if bubbling up from somewhere deep within him, information began to trickle into his mind. His recollections started in the midst of a bizarre scene unlike anything Ted had ever consciously remembered.
“Grandy is standing on something,” he started again, after a long pause. “She seems hypnotized, she’s not saying anything. They remove her nightgown, and they’ve got something like a little drill, touching to the back of her head. They’ve done something to her, and she’s slightly different.”
He paused again, as if listening. “They’re telling her she’s very special,” he resumed. “They put a white gown on her and make her look beautiful, or they’re telling her she’s beautiful. They dress her up and tell her that she’s beautiful, and that she’s coming to live and work with them.”
“How old are you here?” Barbara interrupted.
“I’m ten years old,” he said. “I remember this, the room, and these beings around her, and I’m watching. She’s not in control, and they’re all around her. They’ve loosened her hair and are showing her how beautiful she’ll look when she lives with them. They’re preparing her for this. That’s all I seem to be able to see right now. And she does look beautiful, and young, too.”
Ted stopped again, pondering. “I don’t feel like that’s all exactly right, though,” he admitted. A mental alarm went off, because the words felt false even as he spoke them.
“We want only the truth,” Barbara said, “that’s what we’re aiming for.”
“I suddenly felt like that stuff was what they told me I was seeing, but it’s not really,” Ted said.
“Clarify your vision,” Barbara told him, deepening his trance, “and tell me what is really happening.”
“She’s complaining about the pain,” he continued, “and they’ve brought somebody else in. I feel like they’re antagonizing and torturing her. Somebody’s come in who says he’s my grandfather, but my grandfather is dead. She’s arguing with him that it’s not her husband, she doesn’t care what they say. Somebody’s angry. And that’s all I can see right now.”
“Ted,” Barbara asked, “is this the grandmother you were with in bed the night you heard the voice in the room?”
“Yes.”
“How old were you when that happened?”
“Ten.”
“Let’s shift your focus to that night,” Barbara directed. “Feel the bed, you’re in bed with your grandmother. Feel it, and your memory is perfect. Do you feel yourself there now?”
“Yes,” he slurred, sinking deeper into the trance.
“On the count of three,” Barbara continued, “you begin to tell me, with truth and clarity, what happened on that night. One, two, three.”
“I can hear her voice now,” Ted responded. “She’s demanding that we be taken home. She’s complaining about the pain in the back of her head. She’s telling them to get that thing away from her.”
“How did this start?”
“I remember we were sleeping,” he explained, “and somebody takes me out of the bed. Then the next thing I know, I’m at the side of the room, and somebody who’s got a hood over their head is beside me. My grandmother’s in the center of the room, they’ve taken off her robe and put another one on her and done something with her hair. She does look beautiful, but before that they did something with that strange drill to her head. She got very angry, and I think she hit one of them because they were hurting her.
“I’m beginning to see,” he said after a short pause, “what she hit wasn’t a person. It was one of those dark gray or brown looking men, like a lizard-like man, one of those reptilian beings. They’re offering her something to make her young again, and she’s angry, refusing to cooperate. She’s demanding that we be taken home. This reptilian guy leaves the room, and he comes back with …oh, this is making my grandmother very upset. They’ve brought in my grandfather who’s been dead a while. He looks young and handsome, and they’re telling Grandy that she’s to join him.”
“How does she respond?” Barbara asked.
“She tells them that it isn’t true, that they are lying, that my grandfather is deceased. They’re arguing, and she refuses to cooperate. I hear her calling out to Jesus.”
He stopped again, listening.
“The reptilian man is talking ugly,” he resumed, “and telling her that…
He broke off abruptly.
“What is he telling her, Ted?” Barbara asked.
“He told her that they put something into her head,” he said reluctantly, “and that if she doesn’t cooperate, it would kill her, and only they can stop it. She still refuses.”
“What did they want her to cooperate by doing?”
“I don’t know!” he exclaimed, but Barbara directed him to program his inner computer for the truth and then to proceed.
“I can’t understand it,” he began again. “But it has something to do with sick people.”
“Did your grandmother have anything to do with sick people?”
“She could make warts disappear, and things like that. She knew where to get roots and herbs in the woods and use them to make people well. They told her something about sick people coming to her, but she refused to participate. It wasn’t for the right reasons, she said. She called on Jesus two or three times. I can hear her saying, ‘No, no, I will not!’ They’re telling her that someone will come and teach her more, but she doesn’t want to learn anything from them.”
“Why would it be evil if they wanted her to cure people with their knowledge?”
“I don’t know, but every time they tell her this, she tells them no. Then the reptilian man tells her she’s going to die because she won’t cooperate.”
Ted became very sad, and then he caught his breath with a start.
“What is it, Ted?” Barbara asked. “What did you just become aware of?”
“He told her he would have my soul,” Ted replied, “and they brought me to the center of the room where she is. They’re doing something to me. No, she steps in between them. There are several beings around: me, Grandy, this reptilian man, my grandfather. He’s standing there immobile, like he’s in a daze. She steps in between me and the reptilian man, puts out her hand and stops him. She’s telling him that she’s not afraid of him, that she’s met him before. I don’t know after that,” he sighed. “They do something, and we’re back in the bedroom.”
“Do you remember telling me you heard a voice that night?” Barbara reminded him.
“I feel like it was the voice of that man wearing the hood, but I’m not sure.”
“She died not long after that, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she died two days later of a massive stroke. That day I went to her because I remembered the talking that night in the room. I asked her about it, and she held me and started crying. She told me to forget about it, that it was the devil. Then she got my father to take her back home, and we all went. Less than two hours after we arrived, Grandy had a stroke in front of us and died.
Barbara listened to Ted describe the scene, and as he relived the events, his memory strengthened. He said once again that he had always felt some guilt about his grandmother’s death.
“I kept thinking that something I did caused it,” he finished.
“What made you feel that?”
“I guess because of what happened during the night. She was trying to protect me.”
“Let’s get it all out,” Barbara said. “Go back and look at the situation.”
“This reptilian man was talking about me, when we first got there. It had something to do with my being, and with the other group that had had contact with me. I’m not sure who the other group is. They wanted my soul, and Grandy protected me. She said, ‘Jesus will not allow you to touch this child or take him.’ That’s when he told her she would die.”
“Move back to where they’re putting the gown on her,” Barbara suggested, hoping that Ted’s recollections would be clearer and more complete, now that he had begun breaking through the screen sequence. “What is the truth? Tell me the truth about what is taking place. Remove all the blinders, all the veils of deception.” Ted’s chest began to heave.
“Oh, no!” he whispered in fright, shaking and panting for breath. “I don’t want to look at that any more!”
“You don’t have to look any more,” Barbara assured him soothingly.
“I don’t have to look,” he whispered even more fearfully, “because I know, I already saw.”
Barbara led him into a more serene state of mind, reminding him of the protective energy he had built around himself. At last he began to breathe more normally, listening to her soft words.
“The reptilian man was wanting to have intercourse with her,” Ted said, once he was able to speak again with any control. His voice was more sure, yet tinged with a deep note of sorrow and resignation.
“But she wouldn’t allow it. She told him she only did that with her husband, and he was dead. So they brought in the grandfather, and he was having sex with her.
But when he got off her, it wasn’t him, it was a reptilian man. And that’s when she intervened. They wanted me next, I don’t know, but I think it was sexual. That’s when she jumped in front and blocked the reptilian man. They were arguing, and he told her she would die for that. And she did.”
“It didn’t seem to matter that she was older?” Barbara asked, referring to the sexual activity.
“They told her they could make her young again.”
“Can you describe the situation more completely? How did they do it to her? Was it just the one?”
“There were several in the room, as well as the one with the hood who had been holding me back. I never saw his face very clearly, but when he turned it looked pasty white.”
“Did they have her on a table or standing up?”
“Standing up, but leaning back on something like a movable table.”
“Do you want to see the rest?” Barbara asked cautiously. “Remember, you said he started coming toward you?”
“Yeah, he wanted me for some reason.”
“Do you want to go back and find out?”
“Yes,” Ted sighed, “let’s go back.”
Barbara returned him to a deep concentration and then asked him to look at the scene again.
“What is your grandfather doing while intercourse is taking place?” she asked. “Is he aware?”
“He was doing the raping,” Ted tried to explain, “but it wasn’t really him. When they brought him in, he took her in his arms and started making love to her. They removed her gown, and she was immobile, not speaking. But when they were finished and he turns around, I can see him. It isn’t my grandfather, it’s the reptilian man.”
“Backtrack a minute,” Barbara suggested, “back to where they were telling her about the herbs.”
“They were talking to her because she knew a lot about herbs. He tells her that he’s got some herbs. Oh,” he paused, “oh, they’re wanting her to take some of theirs. He’s telling her they can exchange information and for her to try his stuff. She takes something they put on her tongue, and I think they gave me some, too.
“They dropped it in our mouths. It was kind of clear, maybe slightly yellow. Everything seems to be centered around Grandy now,” Ted described as he relived the event. “She refused to have sex with the reptilian, so they left and hurried back with supposedly my grandfather. By that time, my grandmother seems to be submitting to the sexual situation. She doesn’t seem to be resisting. After he’s done with her, another one’s on her now. Then they take me and lift me up on top of her as if I’m supposed to be having sex with her. But I can’t recall any stimulation.”
“Does she respond to you?”
“She seems to be kind of out of control.”
“That thing they gave you by mouth, did it affect you in any way?”
“I don’t think I was sexually excited,” Ted said, “but it affected Grandy, like they’d given her some kind of aphrodisiac.”
“What’s happening now?”
“There’s more than one that has intercourse with her,” he continued, “at least three. Then the one that looked like my grandfather comes over, and he makes me have oral sex with him.”
“So does he have a penis?”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t look like a normal man’s. It looks more like a male dog, more shaped like a little gun. Instead of just getting an erection, it seems to come out of an encasement like a gun.
“They’ve moved my grandmother off the table,” he said, and they put me on it. It’s flat now, horizontal. Then one of them has anal intercourse with me. They say something about the other group that has something to do with me, and it’s like they’re laughing about it. Like they’re making fun of the situation.”
Ted’s disgust was evident, but he was also bewildered. “I don’t know what they’re talking about,” he admitted, “but it’s me. They’re doing this to get even, maybe, that’s the only way I know how to say it.”
“How do you feel while this is happening to you?” Barbara asked. “Are you able to think?”
“I’m crying out for Grandy,” Ted said. “I can’t seem to feel a lot of pain, but I’m terribly frightened. My hands are clamped down on something, and my ankles, too. When that reptilian came to take me and says they’re going to keep me there, Grandy steps in between us. She says, ‘In the name of Jesus Christ, I demand that you stop.’ She says that for what they’ve done to us, he will burn in hell forever. He says there is no hell.
“She says, ‘You’re not going to have our souls.’ She rebuked him, that’s what made him so angry. She’s got me close to her, and they’re all standing back, and she says, ‘You tricked me, you tricked us.’ She’s angry about the herbs and what they did to us.”
After a brief pause, Ted concluded the recollection.
“That’s all I can remember. We have our clothes back on, and he tells her, ‘You’re going to die for this, because that boy belongs to us.’ And then we seem to be back in our bedroom.”
“How do you feel now?”
“Repulsed somewhat,” he admitted, “angry. Hurt. Glad that I looked at it, but it was so hard to look at. The first regression came easier. They didn’t want me to see this one. Old Volmo, my buddy, the reptilian who taught me all those wonderful things, I bet he’s the sorry bastard who was doing that to me.”
Ted shook his head, overwhelmed and deeply angry.
Excerpt from the book:
Masquerade of Angels 1994
by Karla Turner, Ph.D.
Kelt Works Publishing,
Roland, AK
ISBN 0-9640899-1-2
Pamela Hamilton
Sub Fugura 2
archived 10-07-99
Archive file# e100799f
donated by James Vandale
Subject: IUFO: ::: Reptoid Rape :::
Reptoid Rape: A Multi-Part Series
::: Pamela’s Reptoid :::
by Bill Hamilton
[from http://members.aol.com/billh46088/abduct1.htm]
Caeruleus Excerptus:
“One of Pamela’s new visitors was a Reptilian Humanoid (Reptoid) that stood at least seven feet tall. I remember when my friend TAL told me about his initial experience of seeing a reptoid in his house in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1979. TAL had a map placed on the hallway wall showing sites of UFO landings, underground caverns, and animal mutilations. One night, he saw a seven-tall reptoid staring intently at his map. The reptoid looked solid, but translucent in that he could also see through him. At the moment of confrontation, the Reptoid turned to look at TAL, and TAL hurled a stuffed animal at him from the bed. The stuffed animal went sailing through the Reptoid, who looked a little astonished at the foolish human act, then hit the wall behind the creature. The Reptoids eyes seem to reveal a great deal of intelligence…
“Pamela’s Reptoid had luminous amber-colored eyes like a cat’s and skin that was charcoal, green and grey in color. His massive chest sported a breast plate, much like that worn by Roman soldiers. He had sharp claws on his four fingers. When he would appear in the room, the air would thicken, Pamela would hear a high-pitched sound in her ears as well as buzzing and clicking. In seconds, she found it difficult to breath. Her chest would feel as if it were crushed. She was paralyzed and immobilized and the Reptoid would literally flip her on her stomach. Then he would proceed with a type of tantric sexual intercourse that would leave her absolutely exhausted. She never feared him. She sensed he was extremely powerful and very aggressive as if a member of a warrior caste. She even felt protected by him. She could not smell the Reptoid. Greys were different. She could smell them. They had the smell of decaying bodies, putrid.”
[End Caeruleus Excerptus]
Pamela was and is an experiencer, an abductee, and a contactee. She has experienced most if not all of the major indicators of this type of experience: missing time; waking up during the night and having feelings of paralysis; nightmares or vivid dreams of aliens and/or their technology; sleep disorders, also waking up consistently at a specific time (usually 3 A.M.); physical marks on her body; repeated sightings of alien craft; clear remembrance of alien contact and interaction; and numerous other indicators and events that correlate with others’ incidents.
I first met Pamela in 1991 when she was married to Al. Al had witnessed some of the phenomena that Pamela had, but was totally non-committal and not supportive. After Pamela finally obtained a divorce after long proceedings, I married her in September 1994. Her experiences have not stopped since I married her, but they have lessened in intensity.
Pamela’s remembrances go back to her crib years between 20 and 24 months of age. At that time she would see a tall man appear in her room. He was always wearing a top hat, a long coat, and a ruffled shirt. Later when she saw pictures of Abraham Lincoln, it always reminded her of her mysterious tall visitor. He would stand waving something with his arms. He would never say anything. She did not fear this man. He gave her the feeling of watching and protecting her.
Then the Greys came. They would only come occasionally. They would put their long arms through the bars of her crib. Of course, at that age, she did not know who or what they were. They always seemed to come from the closet. For that reason, to this day, she does not like to see the closet doors left open. She thought they were little monsters that came out of the dark recesses of the closet. This was around 1949 when she lived in Indianapolis, Indiana.
At the age of 3, a very tall Nordic male with perfect features came to her when she was playing with her toy blocks in a cute little sundress and high-top shoes. She recalls that he told her that she would be on a mission involving leading people through mountains in the year 2011.
When she was in the second grade of school (1953), she would often sail little toy boats in the water of a fountain near where she lived. One day, a beautiful blonde-haired woman appeared standing beside her. She had perfect features and beautiful blue eyes. Pamela describes her as angelic-looking. She wore a white gossamer gown. She would say things to Pamela telepathically. Pamela does not recall all that she said, but one thing did stand out. She remembers the blonde saying, ” you are protected,” then she would just fade out or vanish. She has seen this woman several times. The last time she saw this woman was when she was living with me in Reseda in 1993. One other thing she remembers being told when a little girl is that she had something to do in the future, some sort of mission to accomplish.
Pamela’s mother was a housewife and was afraid of talking about paranormal happenings. One time there was a strange creature, maybe from some other dimension, leaving tracks on the carpet on the stairway, but her mom did not want to discuss it. When she heard Pamela talk about these experiences, she attributed it to Pamela’s imagination.
Pamela’s father was in electronics and worked under contract for Naval Ordinance. It was possible that her father was a contactee as he spoke of people from other planets and even took photographs of UFOs. Some of these were day shots and some were colorful lights taken at night. He told Pamela about life on other planets and warned Pamela not to talk openly about it and to be careful who she talked to about her experiences. He told Pamela that there was intelligent life on the moon, Venus, and Mars contrary to what was being told to the public via the press. Raymond was a man who worked on the instrumentation for Gemini V and also worked on avionics for the Boeing 707 jetliner. He was also a tech writer. When he was in the Navy, his occupation was radioman second class. He worked for Rockwell when they moved to Kansas City. Pamela remembers strange men in suits always coming to the house to talk with her father.
When she was 9 years old, sometime during the summer of 1957, her parents went out. She saw a flash of light in the picture window. Two Greys with big heads and black eyes came into the house and stuck a needle at the base of her skull when she was sitting on the couch. There was probably some missing time with this episode. When her parents came home, they could seen the mark on her neck and found dried blood. She then started having headaches, but nothing physical would show up when tests were run. She also experienced fainting spells and black outs, but no physical cause was found.
After the incident, she was standing in the driveway one night near their old green Ford when she saw a large cigar-shaped craft hanging low in the sky. Its surface was reflecting moonlight. She estimates that if she had held her thumb and forefinger out at arm’s length, that it would have spanned two inches. It was a dark cylinder and showed no lights and no windows. It made no sound.
Starting at age 11 and lasting for a year-and-a-half she would see the wall “open up” and life-like scenes would play out. In some of these scenes she could see dinosaurs munching on vegetation. Other scenes showed cave dwellers, or erupting volcanoes and molten rivers of lava. In some she could see planets exploding. She could even smell scents and hear sounds. She distinctly remembers hearing a Brontosaurus making a loud trumpeting sound. Some dinosaurs roared. Most of these scenes showed natural catastrophes. They were somewhat like holographic movies.
From age 13 through 16 she saw many flying discs in daytime and at night. The night discs showed counter-clockwise rotating lights. Two of these discs made a definite whirring sound. One had pulsating lights. This one came over a lake in Brown County in Indiana. From the shore she could see red and white fluorescent pulsating lights..
Many times she felt followed by a man dressed in black. Many times she would see him standing by the street light at the corner. He never approached her.
Sometimes she would go to bed with night clothing on and wake up without clothing. One time she found grass in the bed and on the floor. Sometimes she would go to bed in her room, then find herself in another part of the house, usually the family room and found she had dirty feet even though she bathed the previous night. On occasion she would hear her name called from outside, then wake up outside blocks from her home on the sidewalk.
She would have vivid and lucid dreams from the age of 16. She would find herself inside of craft and receiving instructions on how to fly the craft. She remembers seeing symbols on panels. She saw a huge crystal in the center of the craft. When she first got married at age 17, she still went on having the dreams. Her first husband was a skeptic and thought the dreams were just dreams.
In 1982, Pamela had married Al and Al brought her to his hand built home at the foothills of the Tehachapis in California. The incidents started to step up as soon as she moved into Al’s five-sided house on two-and-half acres of desert property.
One of Pamela’s new visitors was a Reptilian Humanoid (Reptoid) that stood at least seven feet tall. I remember when my friend TAL told me about his initial experience of seeing a reptoid in his house in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1979. TAL had a map placed on the hallway wall showing sites of UFO landings, underground caverns, and animal mutilations. One night, he saw a seven-tall reptoid staring intently at his map. The reptoid looked solid, but translucent in that he could also see through him. At the moment of confrontation, the Reptoid turned to look at TAL, and TAL hurled a stuffed animal at him from the bed. The stuffed animal went sailing through the Reptoid, who looked a little astonished at the foolish human act, then hit the wall behind the creature. The Reptoids eyes seem to reveal a great deal of intelligence. The Reptoid proceeded to touch a point on his belt and disappeared.
Pamela’s Reptoid had luminous amber-colored eyes like a cat’s and skin that was charcoal, green and grey in color. His massive chest sported a breast plate, much like that worn by Roman soldiers. He had sharp claws on his four fingers. When he would appear in the room, the air would thicken, Pamela would hear a high-pitched sound in her ears as well as buzzing and clicking. In seconds, she found it difficult to breath. Her chest would feel as if it were crushed. She was paralyzed and immobilized and the Reptoid would literally flip her on her stomach. Then he would proceed with a type of tantric sexual intercourse that would leave her absolutely exhausted. She never feared him. She sensed he was extremely powerful and very aggressive as if a member of a warrior caste. She even felt protected by him. She could not smell the Reptoid. Greys were different. She could smell them. They had the smell of decaying bodies, putrid.
Pamela often awoke with scoop marks on her legs or holes in her hips, or triangular marks on her back as well as bruises and scratches and puncture marks. These began appearing in childhood. One time she had five distinct scratches across her left upper arm. We believe that the Reptoid left his claw marks on her in this one particular incident. The scars from these scratches are still visible to this day.
The Greys have taken her blood, inserted needles in her neck and fooled with her eyes and ears.
From 1983 through 1991, she would have orbs appear in the pentagonal house. These balls of light ranged from the size of tennis balls to basket balls. Some were white, some were orange, and some were blue. All were silent. They could burst into view with a flash, and float through the house. Sometimes they would come right through a wall and out a closed screen door. Al would remark that he could see them, but he didn’t know what to think about them. He would just shrug his shoulders.
In June of 1990, a little tan-colored alien dressed in a black flight suit would abduct her. On one particular night, she saw an orange fireball descending to the east of the property. During the summer months, she would sleep outside up on the deck near the summer bedroom on the second story of the house. There was an old bus stairwell that was used to get up onto the deck. She remembers being on the stairwell, fully awake, arguing with the little tan guy. She kept saying to him that he had to stop doing what he was doing — taking her. She had a postal route to start in the morning, and he was interrupting her sleep and might awake Al. His expressionless demeanor conveyed the impression that he wasn’t accepting any of what she was saying.
Once, while traveling in 1991, Al and Pamela had stopped in Jerry’s restaurant in Blythe, California. A mysterious man deliberately looked at her through the window, then came into the restaurant. He was dressed solidly in black, had a very pale face, silver hair, and was over six feet tall. He sat at the counter and ordered coffee and water, but never touched either one. He just continued to stare at Pamela. No one else in the restaurant paid any attention to him.
Once during that same year, she remembers an incident where she was taken to an underground base in the Tehachapi Mountains. The only recall that is clear to her is a landing pad with a large circled number 38 painted on the surface. Inside the underground area were two older men with grey hair and white lab coats on. They wore glasses and pens and pencils in their coat pockets. There was a lot of equipment, including video screens, up against the walls. She was positive that she was in the mountains north of her home. Later, a pilot friend flew her above the region looking for some tell-tale sign of an opening or landing pad, but she could find nothing that gave away the location of this secret hideaway.
All of this seems like a prelude to a terrifying encounter that occurred on the night of May 14, 1991 when three Greys attempted to remove Pamela from her bed. She had just gone to bed and turned off the television to read. She was awake reading, and not asleep when this occurred. She sensed something and looked up to see the three Greys in their black flight suits standing in a triangle. One was at the foot of the bed, and the other two were on either side of her bed. That was not all. Standing in the room next to her bookshelves was a man dressed in black clothing, holding a black box with a cord dangling from it. Pamela struggled with the Greys to free herself from their control. The man in black stood there and told her she had no electricity. She attempted to turn on the lights that were powered by the generator in the backyard, but the lights failed to come on. She managed to grab a flashlight and rush over to the kitchen window where she could see numerous lights circling in the sky and illuminating her yard. A deck that projects off the roof to her right was occupied by an oriental-looking man dressed in Air Force blues and a dark beret. He was laying prone on the deck and gazing down at a K-9 sentry dog that was in the yard with Pamela’s own 100-pound Labrador who was barking at the strange German Shepherd. She yelled at the man not to kill her dog. The three Greys she had seen before were now in the yard and the man on the deck was yelling at them to get Pamela “out of the GD house. “
The next thing Pamela knew, she was standing in the yard behind the Generator shack. She remembered that her husband had come from the back room to the kitchen window after she had yelled for him, but now she was alone. Her husband was gone, the dogs were gone, the Air Force Officer was gone, and the Grays were not in sight. All she could see was above her. A huge disk rotated. It had bright red lights and was emitting a fog or vapor from portals along the underside rim of the craft. Her next conscious memory was awaking on the bed at about 3:50 AM. Over four hours of missing time had elapsed in one of the strangest and most terrifying encounters that she had ever experienced. It left her with more questions than answers. Later, under hypnosis, a portion of her missing time aboard the hovering ship, was recalled. All of this was on her mind when I drove up to her gate the following morning around 10 AM. She was hysterical and crying. She could not believe all that had just happened. We found out later from her girl friend and neighbor, that her girl friend had noticed a vibration that night, and when looking northward at Pamela’s place, saw it enshrouded with a fog. Her trailer was shaking violently and the dogs were going berserk. After she ran out into the desert and saw the fog around Pamela’s place, the commotion stopped.
Pamela had a number of other encounters that year, but none as dramatic as the one that happened in May. Throughout the summer, Pamela, I, and others had several sightings of strange moving night lights over the Antelope Valley. Some of these I have nicknamed “Jumpers” because the light-strobing objects seem to jump from position to position in the valley skies instead of moving on a continuous course. Aircraft with strobes could be seen moving on a continuous course for comparison. We also witnessed a train of lights coming in from the west late one evening in July. The individual lights in the procession were glowing with a beautiful golden glow and were surrounded by plasma coronas.
On November 4, 1991, on her birthday, Pamela had a spectacular sighting of an arrow-head shaped object moving above the Antelope Valley Freeway at 7:18 AM. on her way to work under clear daylight conditions. The object was charcoal black, had no vertical stabilizers, emitted no sound, had some sort of tiling on its bottom side, and was about the length of a football field.
Pamela had helicopters flying over her property. On one occasion one came down to within 100 feet of the ground with the side door open and the men inside very visible. She also feels that men in a low-flying highway patrol plane buzzed her place and took her picture when she was standing in the yard. With my prompting, she started to photograph these helicopter over flights. Another abductee in Southern California, Licia Davidson, had taken numerous photos of various helicopters that had buzzed her house. On many occasions, helicopter personnel were seen pointing cameras at the witnesses. Some of the copters carried sound booms that could amplify conversations and sounds emanating from the ground.
A surprising incident occurred to Pamela in late October prior to her November 4th sighting. She was looking out her kitchen window and saw seven strange objects form symbolic patterns in the sky over the saddle of the Tehachapi Mountains. She went outside and yelled to Al to follow her. At that time a brilliant ball of light came rushing out of the center of the formation as she watched. It came at great speed straight toward her and she ducked as it circled and came within two feet of her face. Then it slowly circled her and Al and shot straight up, vanishing along with the formation of symbols. This is one of the few incidents that Al fully admitted to when I queried him about the matter. Almost immediately following this extraordinary event an old 1959 Chevrolet came tearing in through the south gate of her property and two men and one woman emerged from the car when it came to a stop. One man, a good- looking blonde, was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt while the other two wore military Khakis. They all appeared to be in the their early thirties.
Ignoring her husband, the three strangers forced Pamela to enter the house and started ransacking the living room and her desk. They gathered up all books, magazines, and videos on the UFO subject and proceeded to tell her not to collect or gather any more information or they would be back and the next time they would not go easy on her. She started to cry and begged them to stop. They actually became angry and shoved Pamela who shoved the dark-haired girl. They became belligerent and warned Pamela that they would not tolerate her actions. Pamela had the distinct impression that she had seen the blonde man before and that these people were with the Air Force. She knew this intuitively, but did not know why she knew. Upon leaving, they had taken 10 out of 25 negatives of the black unmarked helicopters Pamela photo- graphed, as well as her copy of the book, Intruders — an ironic fare the well!
When the three left to get back in their car, the blonde took Pamela to one side out of the hearing range of the other two. He told her that he did not like doing what he had to do, but she had been told previously to remain silent. He said that she knew some things, but others she did not remember, and that she would remember in time. They left, driving off in the direction of the Northrop facility in the mountains. While all of this was happening, her husband Al remained passive and unconcerned. He did not ask the strangers their business or for their identification.
Months after many of the abductions and the visit of military personnel, and the separation of Pamela and Al, I took Pamela to her medical clinic for a check on an infection she had contracted. The nurse had left her medical chart in the room. Dr. K had been treating Pamela for years and was a fatherly figure in his approach to Pamela’s health conditions. For the first time she noticed that some of her medical records had been stamped with the instruction to send a copy to a certain flight surgeon (Dr. C.M.) at Edwards Air Force Base. Pamela had never authorized her records to be sent to Edwards. She had never been in the Air Force and had no relatives in the Air Force. Her father had been a Navy man. Why was Dr. K sending her records to Edwards? She asked him and he could not give her an answer. He claimed that he did not know this was happening and told her to check with the medical records department.
Pamela requested copies of her medical records and received only part of them. When she queried the medical records clerk, she was astonished to hear her say that some of her missing records were ordered destroyed! She managed to obtain some copies of records with the Edwards routing on them. Even when she requested that the clinic terminate this routing on her request, the request was ignored and the routing to Edwards continued.
We engaged the help of a Doctor G. who was a member of our MUFON group to give us some data on the mysterious flight surgeon. From the information he gave us, we discovered that he graduated from medical school at the University of San Diego, a prestigious school. While attending a UFO meeting one Sunday, Pamela and I stayed over to visit the university on Monday. When we got to the records office, we requested to see a photograph of the young flight surgeon from his graduating class photos. After Pamela examined the photo with a magnifying glass, she came to the conclusion that the man in the photo, the flight surgeon who was receiving copies of her medical records, and the good-looking blonde man who accompanied the two airman in Khakis on the October 1991 visit were one and the same! She had positively identified someone from the Air Force who monitored abductees. What could we do with this information? No one had any good ideas. So the matter rests.
Pamela is still having encounters. She twice saw a little Grey in our new house in Lancaster. He comes up to her within a few feet and cocks his head to one side with a curious expression, then vanishes into thin air. She once saw a dark cloaked figure in the living room. Soon after we moved in she found, photographed, and drew the outlines of a three-toed footprint on our carpet in the hallway. We have heard strange sounds upstairs while we are both sitting downstairs in the den. And on Christmas night, she photographed a luminous orb that made a sharp-angled turn in front of the Christmas tree. She has caught strange things on film before, including some lights that were glowing in the bushes alongside the road into Long Canyon in Sedona. This was in broad daylight in the afternoon.
Marks have continued to appear as if overnight on various parts of Pamela’s body, and when we see them, we photograph and document them. Her health has deteriorated since some of these later encounters. Pamela knows the world will change. Changes are imminent. She fears the nights when she finds herself paralyzed. It may be a long while yet before the world pays attention to the perils of Pamela or any of the others who have had these encounters. Don’t tell Pamela or the others that they merely suffer from sleep disorders. The truth is many of these events have happened in the real world in the waking state.
Pamela and I have now moved to Arizona, yet her sleep is still disturbed and she continues to experience paranormal events during her waking hours. On one occasion in September, 1995 a supporting wall in the house started to mysteriously vibrate. A few seconds later, the wall stopped its vibration and a bookcase near the wall started vibrating. There was no apparent source for the vibrations. Mysterious sounds have also been heard in the house. She seems to be the focus of invisible attention and, wherever she goes, she does not escape its influence.
POSTSCRIPT: On December 7, 1996 Pamela had an experience in the early hours of the morning that left a triangle of puncture marks on her left hand. Each of the punctures is 1.5 mm apart and the marks form a perfect equilateral triangle. Photos of these marks are shown below. If other researchers measure the size and angles of marks, we may prove to have some similarities that imply the use of the same or similar instruments that cause these marks.
Michelle A. Guerin
Sub Fugura 3
archived 10-07-99
Archive file# e100799g
donated by James Vandale
Subject: IUFO: ::: Reptoid Rape :::
Reptoid Rape: A Multi-Part Series
::: The Sands Of Time :::
Alone, I walk the sands of time, The graying clouds, my thoughts of despair and loneliness.
I seek shelter from this storm within myself. Delving deep, retreating from the darkness of pain and suffering.
But the whipping winds of fear still build momentum.
Michelle A. Guerin
I wrote that poem sometime in the late 1970’s. For many years, it’s meaning had haunted me. It haunts me no more.
On the southeastern most tip of Long Island, lies the idyllic fishing hamlet of Montauk, NY. Quiet and sparsely inhabited during the cold, wind-strifed months of winter, the town’s population swells each summer with the onslaught of tourists, fishermen and those fortunate to have season residence in this quaint seaside village. Many “day” visitors flock to see the historic landmark, the Montauk Lighthouse, commissioned by the “Father of Our Country”, George Washington.
But there is a darker side of Montauk Point that many are unaware of. Within view of the famous lighthouse lies a derelict military facility, known as Camp Hero. A Sage Radar dish sits atop a tall, abandoned building in the distance. Records show Camp Hero was officially decommissioned and vacated by the US Air Force in 1969. It was reopened and operated without the sanction of the US Government, utilizing a fully verified and documented subterranean facility beneath the base. And it is here, many believe, the Montauk Project was able to carry on it’s covert operations.
::: What Is The Montauk Project? :::
According to Preston Nichols and Peter Moon, authors of “The Montauk Project: Experiments In Time”, the Montauk Project “was a development and culmination of the phenomena encountered aboard the USS Eldridge in 1943.” This is popularly known as the Philadelphia Experiment, a series of experiments conducted by by the U.S. Navy involving radar invisibility.
“According to these accounts,” states Peter Moon, “over three decades of secret research and applied technology ensued. Experiments were conducted that included electronic mind surveillance and the control of distinct populations. The climax of this work was reached at Montauk Point in 1983. It was at this point that the Montauk Project effectively ripped open a hole in space-time to 1943.”
Allegations have been made of ongoing research and experimentation into psychotronics, electromagnetic mind control and the manipulation of space and time to allow for the successful transport of matter and energy into other dimensions through “portals” or time warps. These projects are reportedly being carried out by the combined efforts of clandestine units of the CIA, NSA, DARPA and other government agencies, military intelligence and corporations with strong defense-related ties.
A particle accelerator is claimed to be used for powering particle beam weapons and radar systems, as well as HAARP- like transmissions of high-powered radio frequencies into the ionosphere. There is purported evidence of additional particle accelerators at nearby locations. Brookhaven National Labs, a research facility on Plum Island, and a military facility at West Hampton Beach, have been mentioned as possible sites.
::: The Human Factor :::
I have attempted to chronicle the numerous incidents, and subsequent research and investigations, that indicate my apparent personal involvement with the Montauk Project. The investigation is far from complete…for it appears the deeper we go, the more we unearth. I have determined it is more important to alert others of the REALITY of the Montauk Project and, in doing so, garner the assistance necessary to pursue the truth. While some details may seem innocuous, I include them in the event future verification is needed.
The Sands Of Time
It was mid-September, 1994. It had been almost 25 years since I had visited Montauk, NY. As I stepped off the train, I wondered still, why I felt the need to go there. I was trying to come to terms with and reach some understanding of my apparent involvement with alien abductions. I was seeing Dr.Maurice Kouguell, PhD., a clinical psychologist specializing in hypnotherapy, to assist me in overcoming anxiety caused by these experiences.
At Montauk, the busy summer season had ended, and I looked forward to relaxing, doing some reading on the subject of alien abductions, and with any luck, finding some answers. I spent 4 days at Montauk. With each passing day, I got more and more depressed. I did not venture any further than a few blocks in either direction of my hotel. I couldn’t wait to leave and returned home on Friday.
The next night, after falling asleep around midnight, I was abruptly awakened by the violent vibrating of my bed and my body. It felt as though I was hit by an earthquake. However, I suddenly sensed I was not alone. I was unable to see anything. I don’t know if my eyes were open or not, but I could feel my body being pulled from the bed. I still remember how the sheet felt as my body was pulled across it. I tried to scream “Oh God”, but it came out as a whisper. I screamed in my head,” No…I’m still awake”. By this time, my hips were at the edge of the bed. I turned and tried to grab for the headboard, to drag myself back. That was the last thing I remembered before losing consciousness.
The next morning I remembered none of this. Later that evening, while talking to a friend on the phone, it suddenly came flooding back to me. I quickly finished the conversation, too upset to talk, and changed for bed. That’s when I first noticed the 2 puncture marks on my left thigh. They were about 2 inches apart…midway between my knee and the top of my thigh.
I was determined to have a record of this latest physical manifestation of my experiences. At the time, I worked for Dr.D, an internist. I asked him to please look at these marks and to tell me if they were indeed puncture marks. He examined them and stated that they “appeared to be puncture marks”, but they were “too symmetrical” and “how could I get them and not know how it happened?”
I decided it was time to tell him how it happened. After hearing my story, he recommended I see a psychiatrist. I made an appointment with a local doctor. I spent close to an hour telling Dr.S of my experiences. When I was finished, he advised me that he did not believe in the possibility that life existed elsewhere in the universe. I said that he was going to tell me I was suffering from night terrors and sleep paralysis. He concurred with that diagnosis. I asked him how it was possible to have puncture marks associated with this diagnosis. He had no answer. I then asked him if I was neurotic, psychotic or suffering from delusions. He said no. I stated, “Well maybe, just maybe, I am telling you the truth”. Before I left his office, I told him at this point the best we could say, is that we had agreed to disagree. And I hoped we could have this conversation again 10 years from now. I eventually saw Dr.Kouguell concerning this episode. The puncture marks were still visible and I showed them to him.
Prior to this experience, I had related to Dr. Kouguell partial accounts of my encounters with a species I referred to as “the nasty ones”. Even after regression, I was unable to get a clear image in my mind of their appearance. All I could draw was a picture that resembled a “fat plant leaf “. I also had a strange response to a silhouette image, and subsequent flash image, of an alien depicted in an episode of the “X-Files”. I was terrified. The image was of a large, muscular being with pronounced, pointed ears.
While attending a UFO conference in New Jersey in March of 1995, I arrived late to a lecture and slide show being presented by Leah Haley. The slide show was already in progress when I took my seat. After just a few minutes, an image appeared on the screen which caused me to panic and become so anxious, I had to leave the room. The image she had drawn was of a reptilian being she had encountered during an abduction. It showed the same pointy ears I had seen on the “X-Files” episode. Later, I was to realize this is what I had drawn for Dr. Kouguell. The image of the “fat plant leaf ” was the distinct shape of the alien’s ears.
I had started to hear about a covert operation called the Montauk Project. I became very interested in learning more about it since I lived so close to Montauk. I read the 3 books written by Preston Nichols and had very uneasy feelings about this story. Why was I drawn to this place? Why did I feel the need to learn everything I could? In one of the books is a picture of Duncan Cameron. The face was so familiar to me…I knew I had had a conversation with him at some time. and then realized it had been telepathic! But I could not remember what the conversation had been about, nor when it had occurred.
Louise, a friend, and I were planning to attend a UFO conference in CT in October,1995. I suggested that since she was driving up to NY to pick me up for the conference, why not come a few days early and we would explore at Montauk. She immediately agreed.
Upon arriving in Montauk, we checked in to our hotel room, and set off for Camp Hero. We tried different entrance points but all had security gates and signs posted stating no trespassing. We finally found access on a side road just before the Lighthouse. It was an area just south of the base, on the beach. The road we walked on ended at a parking area on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The radar dish was visible from this point, but was too far to hike to.
Louise felt very sick and uneasy there. For some reason, I was drawn to the cliff. I stood out there by the edge, just looking out over the beach and the ocean for about 10 minutes. I felt so drawn to this spot…why?…what possible reason could there be? I had never been there before. Why did I feel rooted to the spot? It was getting late and Louise and I wanted to try one more road before we called it a day.
Driving back toward the town, we turned in at Old Montauk Highway. According to the map we had, this road should go into Camp Hero. There was also notations on the map of areas where someone had “felt a void” and very ominous feelings.
While driving down the road, Louise and I both felt this “void”. It was one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever felt. The only way I can describe it is the absence of feeling life, as if nothing lived in this space. I wish I could be more specific. Once past this void, the terrible, ominous feeling hit us very strongly. The road ended abruptly at a dead end. Louise wanted to go back to the hotel, but I insisted that I knew we were close to the radar dish and wanted to check around just a little.
I climbed over a pile of wood chips and went through some small brush. About a hundred feet into the brush the asphalt road continued. I followed it to a clearing and there it was, right in front of me…the radar dish. I went back to the car, where Louise was waiting and grabbed the video camera. I returned the same way, taping as I went along. After shooting the radar dish, I suddenly got an eerie feeling that I was being watched. The feeling was very strong and very frightening. I wanted to run back to the car, but I was afraid I would fall. I left as quickly as I could. Louise and I returned to the hotel.
We went to bed about midnight but I stayed up until approximately 1:30am reading. Sometime between 3:00 – 3:30am both of us were awakened by a loud noise. The smoke detector in our hotel room was going off and neither of us could reach it in order to turn it off. We finally contacted a hotel employee who advised us that the smoke detector was not run off a battery…it was connected directly to the room’s electrical system. In order to shut it down, we should go to the fuse box located on the side of the closet wall and throw the switches until we found the one connected to it. We tried all of the switches to no avail. Even throwing the main switch, which cut power off to the entire room, did not shut down the smoke detector. A maintenance employee of the hotel came to our room and tried shutting down the electricity…the detector still continued. He finally had to pull the smoke detector from the wall and cut the wires in order to turn it off. The next day, we agreed that neither of us wanted to return to the base. We were both too frightened.
A couple of weeks later, I was scheduled to attend a UFO conference in Mobile AL. I went down a few days early to get away by myself a little. It was during this time that the flashbacks started. First, the face of the reptilian, close to mine, accompanied by a rasping sound. I knew the reptilian image was during my… rape? But when? where? I didn’t have the answers. Then I saw an image of traveling in a military jeep, through tall grass and sand, over hills, soldiers wearing fatigues (brown/tan/black) and black berets. I had also recalled a memory of being submerged in some type of fluid…heavier than water. I kept hearing muffled sounds of people talking and remembered yelling, “I can’t hear you.”
These flashbacks continued to haunt me, but I couldn’t remember any other details. It was during the period after my return from Mobile that I remembered a strange experience in Montauk in 1970. When questioned about periods of “missing time”, I had always stated that I didn’t have any. But I suddenly remembered that I had! For whatever reason, I had no recall of it until this time. During a visit to my aunt and uncle’s campsite at Ditch Plains in Montauk, I was missing for 2-3 hours and my uncle remembered it! My recollection of the early part of that day had always been very clear. My memory of the later part of the day had always been vague and blurry.
I had an appointment with Dr.Kouguell that week and determined I should regress to that day in 1970 to see what really happened. I told Dr.Kouguell that I felt he should put me under as deeply as he could…he agreed.
The following text is my recollections while under hypnosis:
11/9/95 Session
We are driving in the car, on our way to Montauk. I’m sitting in the front seat with my mom. My brothers and sister are in the back seat. Daddy’s at work. Mom is so happy we’re going to Montauk. Uncle B is her half-brother…they just met a couple of years ago, at the funeral of her natural father. We arrive at Ditch Plains, the campsite they stay at in Montauk. I hang around for a little while, talking with everyone, then decide to change into my bathing suit (a two-piece) but put my cutoffs on over my bathing suit bottom. This is so boring. I’m going to look around the campsite.
I walk towards the east a little way and after awhile I pass by a group of surfers camping there. One of them looks familiar…it’s M! F’s older brother! I stop to say hello. M asks me if I’ve seen F yet, I tell him no. He says F is surfing right now, so I decide to walk down to the water and look for him. I sit on the sand at the shoreline, watching 5-6 surfers. Finally, I spot F. He is so beautiful! When he heads in from the water, I get up and start walking in his direction. I hope he notices me. As I get closer, he does. He calls out my name and waves. I walk over and we kiss hello. He asks what I’m doing in Montauk and I tell him. He asks if I’d like to take a walk in about an hour. He’s got some things he has to do back at the campsite, can I meet him there? Sounds GREAT!
This hour is going so slow. I’m at the campsite with F and we start walking towards the east. We walk a little less than a mile. There’s a cliff up ahead and we walk into the dunes to find a quiet spot. There’s tall dune grass behind us. F’s got a towel, so we sit down on that and start making-out. We end up laying down next to each other. He kisses so good.
Suddenly, I hear a loud buzzing sound, like allot of bees. I sit up and so does F. What is this? Something’s not right! I look at F and he can hear it too. We lay down on our backs, still next to each other. Why am I doing this? We should run away! I try to yell to F that we should get out of there. But I can’t talk…I can’t move! I’m so scared…I want my mother!
It sounds like a car is coming…the sound gets closer, then stops. The buzzing is louder now. Even though I’m scared, my body acts like it’s not. A man wearing a soldier uniform is looking down at me, standing on my left. On the right, is another soldier, he kicks F’s leg. “He’s out of it” he says. “Mike, you take him to the jeep” says the leader on my left. “Ok, Terry”, says the guy on my right. There are 2 other guys with them, but I don’t know their names. Terry is very tan, with dark hair and dark glasses. The others seem to be more fair. Mike and another guy pick up F and Mike carries him like the firemen do. Terry doesn’t pick me up someone else does.
We’re in the back seat of a jeep, traveling north, through the dunes and tall grass. There’s a big hill up ahead. This is so weird! The hill is moving…just part of it. It looks like a door in the hill. It moves forward and then to my right. We drive in. There is another jeep parked on my left. Two other men in the same uniform with the black beret are inside. They all have rifles! I still can’t talk, but my body does what they want. I’m helped from the jeep. F is between 2 guys and they are helping him walk. Terry and someone take me between them and I can walk, too. This place looks like a garage or something. We go through a door. It’s bright in this hallway. We turn right. F is just ahead of me. At the next hallway, F keeps going straight with 2 guys, but we turn to the right and walk a few feet to an elevator door. Terry has a credit card and puts it in a slot next to the door. The slot is vertical and there are 2 lights above it…one red, one green.
The door opens and we go inside, but there are no buttons to push. We’re going down, then door opens and it’s much darker here. And it smells funny…like a basement with a cesspool overflow problem. We turn right and go a few feet…then turn left. I’m so cold! There’s a door on my left, Terry opens it. This room is so dark I can hardly see. There’s almost no furniture in it. There’s something that looks like a padded table. They help me on it and lay me down. Now I’m really cold. One guy says, “Do we just leave her here?”, and Terry answers, “she’s not going anywhere”. They leave the room. I can’t seem to move anything but my eyes. Why am I here? I don’t like this. Over to my left, something moves. It’s coming closer…I can see it better.
OH MY GOD! It’s a monster!
(Note: At this point I got so agitated and almost jumped from the recliner in Dr. K’s office. My eyes flew open and I couldn’t stop shaking and cringing. Dr.K calmed me down and I could continue.)
What I see is a creature about 6-7 ft tall. His ears are large and pointed at the top. His eyes are bright yellow-gold and seem to glow. He has pointy teeth and a large wrinkle on his forehead and he has a TAIL! He’s coming towards me…I have never been so scared in my life. He comes to the foot of the table. He pulls off my shorts and bathing suit bottom…he pushes my legs open and pulls me down towards him. His face is so close to mine…I want to scream, but it’s only in my head. I hear a raspy sound coming from him. He puts something inside me and I feel like I’m being ripped apart. He likes to see how terrified I am…it gives him alot of pleasure. It hurts so much. I have to get away in my head to someplace safe. I go.
I don’t know how long he does this, but when he is done, he goes back to the part of the room I first saw him in and then he is suddenly gone. The door never opens or anything. I don’t know how long I lay here. Terry and another guy come through the door and dress me. They help me from the table and we leave the room. After I am brought back up the elevator, I am taken into another well-lit room. It reminds me of a doctor’s examining room…except there are machines I don’t recognize with lights and dials recessed in the wall above a counter area. There is allot of stainless steel equipment. And a table covered in white. I am placed on that table and strapped down…including my head. I am terrified. I am left alone for what is probably just a few minutes…but it seems like hours.
A group of 5 -6 people come in the room. They are wearing white gowns and masks and hats that covered their heads. They are male, but I see at least one female. They are very busy. I don’t know why.
My head is turned on it’s side and taped to the table. I know this sounds strange, but a small portion of the area above and behind my right ear is shaved. My ear is pulled toward the front of my face and taped to it! Although I am immobilized and can’t talk I am completely conscious!
Someone is writing something on the skin behind my ear.
I remember someone is saying something about an “IV”. And a man says, “Do you think she need’s it?” Someone else says, “I wouldn’t want to take a chance that she might wake up and start moving around”. A few minutes later I feel a prick in my arm.
That’s all I remember until I regained consciousness back on the dunes with F.
* Note: About 10 years ago, I developed what was thought to be an inflamed cyst behind my right ear. The doctor had to lance it to drain and remove it. As he broke the skin with the scalpel, something shot out. He examined it and said he had never seen anything like it. He said it was the size and shape of a bullet. He had to pack the hole it left with medicated gauze.
::: Facing Reality :::
The shock of what was revealed during hypnotic regression left me dazed and distraught. Was I losing my mind? How was something like this possible? Could I have fabricated such a detailed account while under hypnosis? These and many other troubling questions crowded my thoughts for days after the session.
A chance conversation with the relatives I had been visiting at Montauk that fateful day , left me even more unnerved. As I described the “door in the hill” I had viewed near a cliff, my cousin stated she had come upon an area very similar to what I depicted, while walking near the Lighthouse one afternoon. I knew then, with complete certainty, that I needed to find the “door in the hill” in order to provide myself with validation of this experience.
I returned to Montauk on Sunday, December 17, 1995 with my friend Bill, an investigator for MUFON, and his wife. Bill understood my intense need to find “the door in the hill” in order to come to grips with my memories of that fateful day 25 years ago. When we arrived at Montauk, we first went down Old Montauk Highway…the road Louise and I took at the end of our “tour”. Bill asked me to let them know when I felt we were entering the “void”. I felt it much stronger than I did the first time. I let him know when it ended and the ominous feeling began. At the end of the road, the wood chip pile visible on our last visit had been cleared away and the road opened again. It looked like an area of brush and trees had been cleared completely…very strange. I could not make myself get out of the car, my fear was that intense.
As we started back on the road in the direction from which we came, a police car drove past us. This seemed quite unusual as this road is isolated with no thru traffic. Had our arrival caused concern? Before we reached the “void” on our return trip, I suggested that Bill use the electromagnetic field detector he had brought to see if we got any readings. He gave it to me and asked that I let them know when I “felt” we were entering the void. I told them I felt it starting…a few seconds later, the light on the device went from green to amber. I said it was getting very strong…again maybe 3 seconds passed and the light went from amber to red. Then the device went crazy…. flashing like a pinball machine! As we started to exit the void, I continued to give my “readings”, confirmed by the device a few seconds later.
We drove to the main highway and pulled off in the rest area. The three of us were almost too shocked to speak. Bill confided that he had been very skeptical of my ability to “feel” this void when we started this trip. He was now completely convinced. We proceeded to the lighthouse and parked the car.
As we walked down a rocky path to the beach, we noticed a crude handwritten sign advising that an erosion control project was ongoing in that area. Recently placed boulders and cement slabs were evident. At this point, my “feelings” were at the most intense level I had ever felt. There was something about the placement of these of these boulders and slabs that wasn’t “right”. I was drawn to a point above the beach…a cliff jutting out over the sand.
We left the beach and walked up a hill towards the parking area Louise and I walked to our last visit. The whole time we were on the beach, I had the feeling we were being watched and I mentioned this to Bill. Just before we reached the parking area, I observed a man crouching in the brush on the top of a hill and I pointed him out to Bill. The man stood up and stared at us. Bill took out his camera and took his picture. The man crouched down again and eventually was lost from view. We did not encounter him again.
Only a few hundred feet from the hill was the parking area on the cliff. Looking to the west northwest, was Camp Hero. This was the vicinity my cousin stated seeing a door, similar to the one I had described. I looked around and saw what appeared to be a partial view of a stone and mortar wall. This had to be the door! I felt something about it, but I was confused…it just didn’t seem right somehow. I remembered the hill being much higher and more pronounced. I started to wander away from Bill and his wife…going back toward the lighthouse. I was walking on the opposite side of the hill where we had spotted the man…closer to the ocean and the cliff.
I stopped every few yards and looked out over the ocean and tried to compare the image with what I had recalled. My feelings of helplessness and terror were very intense at this point. I continued to walk further back towards the lighthouse. Suddenly, I was standing in front of it… THE DOOR…exactly as I had remembered it! I shouted for Bill and his wife. They came and seemed stunned by what they saw. I started to cry, and everything I had bottled up for so long came out. It was such a relief. I now knew, with complete certainty, that my experience had been real. I was not losing my mind or imagining things.
Next to the door was a small opening that lead to a short tunnel. The end of the tunnel had been cemented over. On the ground, in front of the door, was a concrete circle, divided into equal parts including an equal section in the center of the circle. It was approximately 8-10 feet in diameter. There was a red fire hydrant next to it. Anchored from a utility pole on the other side of the hill, and almost completely outlining the circumference of the hill, stretched a thick, black electrical wire. This wire ended abruptly, tied to a bush. Looking over the cliff, wires running from inside the cliff, hung down about 10 feet and then snaked back inside the cliff. There were remnants of a structure or building at the top of the hill, above the door. Photographs were taken of the entire area from different angles.
As we departed the area, I spotted from the road, a section that seemed devoid of any trees or brush. While Bill waited on the road, while I climbed down into the thick brush, to investigate. Finally breaking clear, I found a large, circular area of what appeared to be dead, crushed grass, interspersed with taller clumps that looked as if they had been chopped or cut down. The trees that bordered this area also appeared dead. Hidden in a thicket of bushes, just to the west of the circle, was a group of large boulders, similar to those evident on the beach. The arrangement of the boulders immediately brought an image of “table and chairs” to my mind. Several trees next to the boulders had been uprooted completely. It was apparent that these boulders were not a natural formation, and had somehow been placed in this location. But how? and more important, why?
::: Further Validation :::
Recently, I was able to view video tapes filmed by Preston Nichols, of the underground facilities at Montauk prior to them being sealed. They contained footage that he did NOT include on the videos produced for sale to the public. One of the cassettes contained footage of the bunker I brought into, what I have come to call my “door in the hill”.
I sat, as if in a trance, and viewed the familiar images on the screen…the large entrance area behind “the door”… the “bright hallway” (white) beyond the entrance area…small rooms located off the hallway. Although I remembered the hallway being longer, and a small alcove where an elevator had been located, it was possible that a wall had been constructed at what appeared to be the dead end. I had already confirmed the existence of an elevator in this location with a retired military intelligence officer familiar with Camp Hero’s underground facilities during the period 1954-58.
Here was further validation of my account! I should have been elated. Instead, I found myself sitting there quietly, a knot in my stomach, saying to myself, “My God…it is REAL!” It doesn’t seem to matter how much validation I receive… I don’t want to believe what I know to be true.
Also while viewing these video tapes, I had a conscious recall of being contained in an isolation tank. This flashback included seeing a “face” of a person (human) familiar to me, and a telepathic conversation meant to calm and soothe me. During the conversation, he referred to me as “little one”.
I met with Dr. Kouguell a few days later to explore this memory through hypnotic regression. From the moment he asked during the session if I was sure I wanted to look at this memory, a battle was waged in my mind. He asked me to indicate “yes” by slightly moving my right index finger. And try as hard as I could, I could not move it. Then he asked me to indicate “no” by slightly moving my right middle finger. It took all my power to hold it in place. I finally moved my right index finger ever so slightly. I had never had this experience while under hypnosis before.
I recalled being in a dark place…being afraid…floating in something that felt slightly heavier than water…feeling warm….and smelling peppermint or spearmint. He took me to a point before being in that place. I was laying naked on a table and had alot of wires attached to me, all over my body and my head. I saw “that doctor” in a white lab coat standing next to me. Then he took me to a point before I was there. I was home in my room (different home than now). I woke up and 2 men dressed in black clothes were in my room. I couldn’t see anything of what they looked like. I asked where Joe and David were (my roommates). I was told they were sleeping. I was then given an injection and felt very sleepy. I was wrapped in a blanket and carried out the back door to a dark van (blue?). I was placed on the floor in the rear of the van and someone sat near me. The next thing I remember is feeling as if I were on a roller coaster. I don’t know where I was taken or how long it took to get there. Suddenly, I was standing naked in front of a metal door, struggling with a soldier holding a rifle, while “that doctor” told me I “had to do this”. I was sobbing , pleading with him not to “make me go back in there”.
I couldn’t continue with the session and Dr. Kouguell brought me back. I told him, as much as I wanted to remember what happened, I knew I wasn’t ready yet to face it. Eventually, I knew I would have to.
An agonizing dilemma ensued. Conscious of my need to find the truth of my involvement, could I actually be unable to face it? What if my reluctance to explore this memory was being controlled by outside influences? And the battle continued to rage in my mind. Finally, I made the decision to continue… I had come too far to turn back now. I would face the truth and rely on my strength of conviction to overcome any obstacles.
Before we began the next regression, I related my observations on possible “blocks” of this memory to Dr.K. I suggested a deep-level trance might be needed to retrieve them. While under hypnosis, I started to “relive” this experience…
I am, once again, in a black enclosed area….struggling, afraid of drowning. Why do I have to be in this place? It scares me so much…I want to get out! I calm myself enough to float. The liquid feels heavier than water. It’s warm and I smell something “minty”. I can feel wires attached to me as I move my arms and legs slightly…on my chest and head, too. I stretch out my arms, trying to feel the walls that enclose me. On my right, my fingers trace the smooth surface, traveling upwards in an ‘arc’ above me. Floating…gentle motion… blackness all around…are my eyes open?….or are they closed?… is this ‘blackness’ I see only in my mind?
I can see movement…forms and shadows. Blackness lightens to dark gray. My friend is here and says, “Don’t be afraid, little one. I will help you…guide you…take my hand”. Dark gray now turning to blue, like the sky…white clouds. It feels like I’m flying. I can see a beautiful, lush hilltop, overlooking tranquil blue water. A large white building (a house?) with tall pillars and steps sits on top of the hill. A dirt road is nearby, and I can see a man, dressed in a short tunic, struggles to move a wooden cart. Scenes flashing… bright swirl of colors. orange, red, deep purple and shades of brown and tan.
I see a rocky, mountainous area…dry like the desert, dusty. There are deep canyons…high cliffs. Scenes flashing…. diving through the white foam of a dark blue wave. I am underwater, among the sea creatures. But it’s light and I can see beautiful colors. There is a dark entrance to what looks like a cave among the hills and rocks. Scenes flashing…a desolate place…not a nice feeling…barren… lonely…cold…a place out of time. Time is not what we think. Each moment is happening now…on an endless ‘loop’. We can enter the loops at many points…but should take care not to disrupt the loops. Past, present and future are happening simultaneously.
After the session, I discussed what I had retrieved with Dr. Kouguell. Although, I was filled with wonder and awe at what I had experienced, unable to be sure if it had happened in the past or present, I still felt I had not been given a “choice” about participating. Dr. K. mentioned the fact that I had willingly “taken” my friend’s hand… wasn’t that making a choice?
I explained my feelings using the following analogy….
If someone was dangling me by my feet off the 13th story of a building, threatening to drop me, and along comes a man on a flying carpet, offering to save me…is that REALLY a choice? Or am I being coerced to follow a certain direction? After some discussion, I came to the understanding that I now have a choice. I’m able to jump from that “13 story building”. I know I will not fall!